THE SIX TYPES OF GUYS YOU HAD A CRUSH ON IN HIGH SCHOOL

  • The ‘cool kid’: This kind of infatuation stemmed from the desire to attain the seemingly unattainable. This was the guy who had become too popular to associate himself with plebeians such as yourself, whose only goal at that point in your life was to get his attention(he lived close to your estate, so in your head this was moderately possible). He was the guy who had 10000 followers on Instagram but only followed 7; he was the one whose pictures would amass thousands of likes in mere minutes (while you quietly contemplated deleting your snaps that your ‘friends’ had casually ignored), who would be seen at every event, being taken pictures of by one of the many professional teenage photographers we seem to have an influx of these days, who would have that one odd snap with a semi-famous Kenyan celebrity or socialite. If you thought about it carefully, you weren’t really sure why you liked the guy- he wasn’t particularly talented in anything other than promoting himself. Maybe he wasn’t even that good looking. But other girls wanted him, ergo so did you.
  • The athlete: You wanted him almost exclusively for his body. But you were also attracted to his discipline. He toiled every single day to reach his level of fitness, showed unbreakable concentration during games, and took control of his team and the pitch in such an enchanting way. You could stare at his furrowed eyebrows- as he prepared himself to shoot the free throw- all day long. You ogled shamelessly as he stomped across the court, shouting husky instructions to his team mates, jersey soaking in sweat, and plonked himself down onto the bench, in a heated exchange with his team mate. When he lifted up his jersey casually to cool down at half time and narrowed his eyes at the crowd, you almost died. You endlessly fantasized about fainting in the middle of the game, or finding yourself in some other precarious medical situation near his presence, and having him stop what he was doing, run over to you and carry you to safety. In his oh so gloriously chiseled and sweaty arms.
  • The choleric leader– You fell for him because he was self-aware. He wasn’t like one of those other confused, directionless boys, no- he was a leader. When he spoke, you could tell that he enjoyed the sound of his own voice. He wore that Captain’s badge proudly on his meticulously neat sweater, stood with his clean, neat fingers intertwined, as if in deep thought, had his back straight and barked orders at the people he ruled over. He furrowed his eye brows in the same way as the athlete, only that he did it when expressing extra disgust over another student’s disobedience, tardiness or shabbiness. He licked his lips when in deep thought, and smirked at hapless students- that one always did you in.You loved hearing his deep commanding voice bark orders at people. You loved him being assertive, taking control- heck, you even liked that he thought he was better than you. That way, he would be extra chivalrous. And anyways, standing next to this feared authority figure made you feel powerful enough. He would be rich and influential in the future; you could feel it. Maybe you would be standing next to him when that happened. All the better.
  • The funny guy- Two minutes into any conversation with him, and you would be gasping for air. He could mold any situation or story into a hilarious joke, and never took himself seriously. He made you feel at peace, and at home around him. You didn’t like some of his gags, which were inappropriate or aimed at you or your friends, but most times he made you laugh. And the best thing was, he was popular with everyone because of his humor, and that made him even more attractive. And his sudden but rare shifts from cheery to serious and introspective, for some reason, made him mysterious and appealing.
  • The shy guy- You liked him because he was a puzzle. He never said much. You can have hours and hours of silence between you. Your friends don’t like him because he comes off as haughty in front of them. He simply won’t reciprocate their energy and enthusiasm for conversation. You probably had approached him first.He is talented- probably a writer, or a musician, or a sketcher. He is probably really smart in class. He doesn’t let much out, but his quiet anger can frighten almost anyone. He can crack a really good joke, but will do so without any pomp, and it will probably pass unheard. His impenetrability is just so hot– you just want to get into his mind and figure the whole of him out. Kind of like in the movies. Then it’ll end with a passionate kiss and a horse ride into the sunset.
  • The ‘one’– He was a beautiful mix of qualities. He was kind, physically attractive,moderately responsible, smart, and funny. He was not perfect, certainly not what you had always dreamed about, and there were many things about his behavior that you did not approve of, but…he liked you too, so it felt right. You thought you complemented each other. You decided to see how far it would go- after all, he wasn’t too bad. You would definitely enjoy being his girlfriend.
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